A post from The Colonies

From time-to-time I need to cross the pond to ensure that things are going satisfactorily.
90degF and all that goes with it doesn’t really do it for me, I’d much rather be somewhere wild and remote. But there you go, it’s a family duty thing and it has to be done.
Whenever I do pay a visit to our colonial brothers and sisters I’m always tempted to correct their spelling, grammar and vocalburary vocabliary vocabulary. This is one reason why I don’t buy books from here, I can’t abide poor spelling…..not that mine is brilliant. The Americans, to their great credit, don’t seem to misuse the apostrophe half as much as we British do.
I was delighted to see that the Publix supermarket chain (think Tesco, but with service) are in the good company of our very own Booth’s supermarkets: they offer an express till service for customers with ‘10 items or fewer’.
Whilst on the subject of niceties and stuff, have you noticed that our very own National Trust don’t have toilets? Oh dear me no, they have Lavatories. Much more English, don’t you think?
As well as being separated by a common language, our dress sense is rather different:
This delightful lady’s hat is probably not at all unusual on the left-hand side of the pond, in Timperley it may stand out slightly. 
The high temperatures of this part of the USA cause all manner of insect problems. Floridians take these things in their stride:

An former squatter 

I’ve now pretty well sorted the insect invasion problem. Whenever I leave for UK I put down a good number of ‘Roach Baits’….they’re like rat poison but for cockroaches. Probably wouldn’t do rats much good either. Come to think of it, I’ve not seen any rats here…..so it MUST work on rats too. Anyway, when I open up the building I just go around with a dustpan and brush and sweep up all the dead bodies. Then I bleach everywhere.

This visit is much busier than previous visits, I’m preparing the place for letting – there’s TONS to do. Whilst clearing out a load of old tat I came across a completely useless lightbulb – well it was completely useless as a lightbulb:

You don’t get these in Timperley

With the very high temperatures comes a rainy season. This last couple of weeks has already seen loss of life due to hurricanes & tornadoes. Fortunately this area is just out the tornado alley. That doesn’t mean we don’t get rain though:

  A couple of photos taken from the back door this evening.

The evening’s donner & blitzen stuff is bad for a chap’s nerves. Now I know why the flight tickets were so cheap….no bugger wants to come here at this time of the year.

Anyroadup, tomorrow’s an easy day. The morning will be spent working on the apartment, whilst the afternoon will be at a local folk club sing-thing. The evening will be spent at the Dunedin Brewery. A chap has to have SOME fun…doesn’t he?